A framed copy of Murphy’s Law hangs in my garage, a memento from 13 years of remodeling the Woodwards’ former home, Maintenance Manor. Everything that could go wrong at Maintenance Manor did.
Murphy’s Law came to mind more than once during a recent trip to Las Vegas with my wife and a friend for a Boise State University game. Thankfully, no major disasters happened; just one minor but annoying mishap after another. So many that it almost became comical.
It started at the airport, where our friend, Lynn, realized she’d forgotten to bring her phone. She called her daughter on my wife’s phone to ask her to bring it to her, but her daughter didn’t recognize the number and didn’t answer. She did respond to a text, though, and brought the phone in the nick of time. So all was well.
Or so we thought.
When we checked in for our flight, the TSA pre-check numbers, which would have saved us waiting in long lines, were missing from our boarding passes. My wife had included them when she booked the tickets, but Expedia for some reason didn’t include them on its end. The ticket agent was not inclined to be helpful. She looked at us as if we’d forgotten to wear clothes.
Happily, a friendly agent at a neighboring desk came to the rescue. He Googled “lost TSA numbers,” asked us our names and birthdates and up came our numbers. All was well again.
Right.
On her way through the pre-check line, Lynn got beeped. She hadn’t done anything wrong and concluded that it was just a random beep. (I suspected the devil, but refrained from saying so.) An agent took her phone and disappeared with it. A few minutes later, he returned it and cleared her to pass.
“What was he doing, checking for messages from Putin?” I asked.
The agent didn’t think that was funny at all.
It was a full flight so they took our bags and said they’d be waiting for us in Las Vegas.
It was hard for me not to be a bit skeptical about that. In my 20s, en route to Navy boot camp in San Diego, United Airlines sent my seabag to Chicago. For four days, I was the only one of thousands of sailors marching around in beige pants and a black trench coat. The drill instructors had a field day with that.
Our seats were in the very back row of the full flight. Walking from the front of a full airplane to the back is a little like walking the length of a football field through quicksand. I may have stepped on everybody’s toes but the pilots’.
When we landed, a flight attendant announced that our suitcases would be at Carousel 14 in Terminal One. Getting there took a while. The Las Vegas airport is huge, the seventh busiest in the U.S. We had to take a train to get to the terminal and then walk the equivalent of from Boise to Meridian to get to baggage claim.
OK, I made that up. It wasn’t that far, but you get the idea. It was a long walk. When at last we arrived at Carousel 14, no one was there but us. This wasn’t surprising as it had taken forever to slog from the back row of the plane to the exit. The passengers in the front row may have been downtown playing the slots by the time we made it to the carousel
An agent at our airline’s help desk explained that Carousel 14 was broken and that our bags were actually at Carousel 12.
Barely! By the time we got there, they were being loaded onto a cart bound for unclaimed baggage. Unclaimed baggage, for all we knew, may have been in another building miles away. If we hadn’t arrived in the nick of time, we might still be looking for them.
Accustomed to a short wait or no wait at Boise’s airport, we were stunned by the number of people waiting for taxis. The line stretched roughly to Tucson.
Arriving at last at our hotel, we were surprised to learn that there was a $100 deposit for each room, and that the $75 price of the rooms on Thursday night ballooned to $215 on Friday night, the night of the game. Welcome to Las Vegas, Bronco fans.
Unpacking brought yet another surprise. Despite being in a tightly closed jar inside a Baggie, the distilled water for my CPAP machine had leaked all over my suitcase. Not to be outdone, my wife’s gooey purple cough medicine had leaked all over her purse.
“What else can go wrong?” I asked no one in particular.
It didn’t take long to find out. The safe in Lynn’s room didn’t work. The guy who was sent to fix couldn’t get some screws to line up so he had to install a whole new safe.
By the time we go our suitcases, waited in line for a taxi and spent time in gridlock watching the fare on the meter go up like a hot air balloon, it had taken three hours to get from the airport to our hotel. It was so late that our nice dinner in Las Vegas turned out to be bread, Walmart salami and fruit, served on a chair. (Our room didn’t have a table.)
The trip wasn’t all bad, though. We saw a lot of Las Vegas. (Did you know that its famous “Strip”is the brightest place on Earth when seen from space, but some 1,000 people live under the city in tunnels?) We didn’t lose any money gambling and the right team won the game.
So … Viva, Las Vegas. Murphy’s Law and all.
Tim Woodward’s column appears every other Sunday in The Idaho Press and is posted on woodwardblog.com the following Mondays. Contact him at woodwardcolumn@gmail.com.
