A friend and I recently spent some time reminiscing about the hardest jobs we’d ever had. It brought back a lot of memories, most of them painful.
The friend, Bob Hagar, lives in Missouri now but grew up in Council. His hardest job was working on a railroad section gang.
“Second,” he said, “would be in high school helping make a fire break when there was a forest fire near Council.”
Third, “pushing wheelbarrows full of wet cement over a narrow plank when a foundation was being built for a dry kiln. … After the second time I missed the plank and wound up in a ditch covered with cement. I was told to draw my pay, get on my motor bike and head home.”
Just about everyone has stories about working at jobs they detest before settling on one they like well enough to make a career of it. My wife still talks about picking berries in the hot sun and working at a chain restaurant where she made beautiful pies only to have her numbskull boss come along and poke his fingers in them.
My hardest jobs?
The first was as a kid working at Braves Field, Boise’s minor league baseball park. It was at the end of Walnut Street adjacent to Municipal Park, on the site now occupied by the Idaho Fish and Game headquarters. The Braves were a farm team of the Milwaukee Braves, and a few of its players went on to the Major Leagues. I used to have a catcher’s mitt signed by Bob Uecker, but my my meticulous mother couldn’t stand having anything around the house that wasn’t being used, and it “mysteriously” vanished while I was in the Navy.
At first working at the ball park seemed like fun. A devoted Braves fan, I got to see all the home games for free. My job was to sell refreshments, walking through the stands shouting things like “Popcorn, fresh, hot popcorn right here!” and “Get your red-hot, salted -in-the shell peanuts!”
It was a great job. You got to watch the games, you were selling things fans were eager to buy, and the physical labor was minimal.]
Until the boss switched me from popcorn and peanuts, which weighed almost nothing, to soda pop. It was kept in a metal cart with a strap around your neck to help hold the loathsome thing up. Filled with ice and sweating bottles of soda pop, the cart would have been only slightly heavier if it had been filled with bowling balls.
My first and last experience with the soft-drink cart came on an unusually hot summer evening. By the third inning my neck hurt and my arms ached. By the fifth or sixth inning I was in serious pain and on the verge of heat stroke. At some point in the late innings I trudged downstairs to the office, turned in the cart and told the boss I was quitting. That done, I exited the stadium, dragged myself to an isolated patch of weeds behind the outfield fence and threw up.
My father, who grew up in Cripple Creek, Colo., and as a boy worked in the mines there, believed in teaching the value of hard work at a young age.
“What do you mean you quit your job?” he asked me.
“It just got too hard, Dad. Last night it was so hard I got sick.”
“Do you have another job in mind?”
“Not really,” I replied, daring to hope that after working at the ball park I could spend the rest of the summer doing something I was actually good at, namely loafing.
“You don’t? Hmmmm, I can think of something.”
The “something” turned out to be working for him and my uncle, co-owners of a company that installed lawn sprinkling systems. It would be a good experience, Dad said. I would earn some money and learn how the installations were done.
Translation: The rest of the summer would be spent on the end of a shovel.
It wasn’t all bad, actually. I learned a lot from my co-workers, grizzled older men who had done that kind of work most of their lives. They taught me to cool off on hot days by running cold water from a hose over my wrists instead of guzzling it and getting sick. They taught me enough about installing sprinkler systems that, many years later, I was able to install one at my current home.
But it was still hot, hard work, the majority of it digging trenches for the underground sprinkler pipes. I stuck it out for the rest of the summer and part of the next before bolting for what sounded like an easier job, working at a cannery in Emmett.
The cannery job was a piece of cake.
At first. The boss put me on the plum line. Plums rolled along a conveyor belt made of rollers. My job was to guide any wayward plums to their proper location, using a sort of squeegee on the end of a pole. It was monotonous but ridiculously easy. Hardly any physical labor at all.
The corn line, my next assignment, was another story. It consisted of using a special tool to lift several heavy cans of corn at atime and transfer them from one belt to another. By lunchtime my arms ached so much it was painful to lift a sandwich.
I worked at the cannery for several weeks before gratefully returning to my old job installing sprinklers. Compared with lifting what felt like tons of corn every day, it was a cinch.
My pay, however, remained at a paltry buck an hour. Lured by a newspaper ad for a job paying almost three times as much, I quit the sprinkler job and went to work on a section gang of the storied Union Pacific Railroad.
As with my friend Bob’s experience, it was to be the hardest job of all. You spent most of the long, hot days on the end of a special sledgehammer, pounding spikes into the railroad ties. It was hard, unrelenting work. Between the heat, the staccato blows of the sledgehammer and the draining physical labor, it was almost enough to make you physically ill.
Our lunch break was half an hour. Hoping for a bit of rest, I bolted my lunch in no time and stretched out on the ground for a nap.
In the old Paul Newman movie “Cool Hand Luke,” the section-gang boss is a silent, menacing figure wearing mirrored glasses. Our boss could have been the inspiration for him. When he ended my nap all too soon one day by poking me in the ribs with a sledgehammer handle, I walked to my car, drove home and returned the following week to the comparative luxury of installing sprinkler systems.
That, thankfully, completes my hardest-jobs list.
Do you have a miserable job story? If so, email me at woodwardcolumn@gmail.com. I’d love to hear about it.
Tim Woodward’s column appears every other Sunday in The Idaho Press and is posted on woodwardblog.com the following Mondays. Contact him a woodwardoclumn@gmail.com.
